I’m being serious.
Okay, here goes:
1. “I’d write, too, but I can’t stand the thought of all the trees I’d be killing.”
Yes, I’ve heard this one. My response back then was, “Don’t worry. You won’t sell enough books to raze a sapling, because your pub house won’t push you that hard to begin with.”
Today, I’d add, “And besides, most books are digital, so you can’t use the tree-killer bullshit as an excuse not to write anymore.”
2. “I’d write, too, but I just can’t make the time.”
Good. Stay busy. The world doesn’t need anothor author. Here’s a hint: It’s not a hobby. It’s a profession.
3. “Why don’t you kill off your series’ villian?” Because then I wouldn’t have a series. And if I don’t have a series, I don’t have the rent money. I’ll make you a promise: when and if he quits paying the rent, I’ll quit writing about him.