This post, by Kaitlin Ward, originally appeared on YA Highway.
If you’re here reading this blog, odds are high that writing is a major part of your life. For many of us, writing is a thing we do whenever possible, something that makes us happy, that we love, that is a massive, important part of our lives.
But writing might not be something that matters to the people we marry (or date). Every couple has at least some interests that don’t overlap, and that’s okay. It’s good, really. You need things that are just for you, whether it’s writing or something else. But sometimes it can be weird when your spouse just cannot fathom how writing could possibly be fun, and when you want them to be able to be part of this thing that matters so much to you. As a person whose spouse is completely uninterested in writing–and in fiction in general–I have navigated these waters, so I thought that I would share some things I have learned.
1. It’s okay that they don’t care about writing–or even reading. Really, it is. Unless they have an actual interest, there’s no reason to try to force them to understand the wonder that is writing. They have their own hobbies, and it doesn’t lessen their quality as a partner if they don’t care about active sentences and the beauty of a carefully crafted book.
2. You don’t have to tell them everything about your writing, but you should tell them something. I don’t remember exactly when I told my husband that writing was something I did a lot, but I know it was fairly early in our relationship. I couldn’t exactly hide the dozens of notebooks that I have always had in storage bins, drawers, and all over the floor. But the point is, even if they can’t relate to it, your significant other should know about the things that you love, especially a hobby as time consuming and (often) emotionally trying as writing.
3. They will listen if you need them to.