Amelie, The One Minute Version

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Here's another of my three-minutes-or-less editorial screenplays of a movie I've seen which strained my credulity, patience or sanity on some level. I find it's fun to rewrite those movies to more closely approximate my experience of them. This was my take on Amelie.

EXT. PARIS - GREEN
Impish, charming, disarmingly cute AUDREY TATOU disarms her ANGRY NEIGHBORS with a charmingly cute smile.

ANGRY NEIGHBORS
We have seen 'Emma' and 'Chocolat', and we know what you're up to! You are trying to impishly charm us into changing our selfish, staid and priggish ways with your disarming cuteness.

AUDREY TATOU
(Impish)
Am I not cute? Do I not remind you of Bjork?

ANGRY NEIGHBORS
Must...resist overwhelming power...of cuteness...anger weakening...

AUDREY TATOU
(Disarming)
Have you noticed the way that the clouds all look like hearts and teddy bears when I'm around? Or that everything is green?

NOT-SO-ANGRY NEIGHBORS
We surrender to your impish charm. All of our lives have been enriched by your
disarming cuteness, the greenness and the teddy bear clouds.

Only slightly less impish and charming NINO steps forward.

NINO
I am hypoglycemic.

AUDREY TATOU (Charming)
Ah, the man of my dreams!
They exit together, Audrey skipping.

NINO
Could you please try to be less impishly girlish? It makes me feel a little pervy.

THE END

By April L. Hamilton at 01/07/2010 - 18:57
April L. Hamilton's blog
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Funny

Quite amusing. I enjoyed reading this.

Eric J. Krause

http://ejkwritingspot.blogspot.com/

By Anonymous at 01/11/2010 - 08:21
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Funny

April,

Very funny! Quite a good exercise to do! I would love to do this to the movies that irritate me!

Thanks for sharing, and thanks for the laughs

Anne Tyler Lord

By Anonymous at 01/10/2010 - 09:56
reply

Very funny

Yes, I like your version better!

Love the dialogue, especially between hypoglycemic Nino and charming Audrey Tatou, hah!

Very funny addition to the #fridayflash group.

@marisabirns

http://www.marisabirns.com

By Anonymous at 01/08/2010 - 16:53
reply

April, thanks for brightening

April, thanks for brightening up my Friday! It's the formulaic part of these moves that makes them deadening to me. If I'm forced to watch one, I just end up sunk in irony. Your re-write solution is much better!